Gagged

I'm trying.
Trying to embrace your choice.
Trying to be excited for your choice.
Trying not to sob over your choice.

Inasmuch, I suggested that we play together.
Play with her.
Together.

Maybe, just maybe
I can let go of the soul-crushing anguish
The debilitating apathy engulfing me.
If I can be a part of your experience.

I want to be excited.
I guess I am a bit.
Excited to wear your collar.
Excited to be your submissive.
Excited to be on display.
Excited to show my devotion.

But, I don't trust my voice.
I almost beg you to put the gag on me.
Your ownership is complete already.
But the collar and gag allow me to hide.

I know that sounds strange.
I'm naked, on display and flogged
And yet,
By not being able to speak,
I feel somehow hidden.

I'm not me in this moment.
I'm a body.
I'm the collar.
I'm the gag.

Thank you for silencing my heartache.