Darkness

There is only darkness now.
But not black enough for me.

Where is there a hole deep enough and dark enough for me to hide?
The sun shines brightly today but not enough to brighten my heart.
My soul is full of darkness.
My body is numb.
There is nothing.
Nothing to fill me with happiness.
Joy has left the building of my life.

I only want to crawl in the dark hole and stay there.
Let the blackness surround the blackness inside me.

There is no hand that can reach me to pull me out of the darkness.
Nothing to show me that the flowers can bloom again.

Flowers I buy for myself to show the beauty, only fade and die.
The same way I that I have died inside.
No beauty.
Only misery.
Only despair.
No joy.
No meaning.
Hopelessness.
Mourning for what is lost.
Mourning for the love that filled me full of bliss.
Mourning for adventures had with my love.
Gone forever.

Nothing to look forward to except more darkness.
Waiting for it to engulf me completely.
So I don't see or feel the darkness anymore.