I read about all the different perspectives about poly relationships.
- Mono/poly
- Poly/poly
- Poly/mono
- How to try harder to make it work
- How poly is an orientation similar to the LGBT community.
Oh, that's the one. That's the one that get my fur up.
Really!?! An orientation?
I call BS.
It doesn't feel like it to me.
It feels the same as saying that alcoholism is a disease.
If you have a disease, you take medication.
Alcoholism is a choice.
Just like poly.
I'm sure someone will get pissed at me for saying it but it's how I feel about it.
I can try harder.
I can read more. And more.
I can try to understand how he can love me and still want to be with other women.
I can try to understand how he can love me while I'm sobbing at his choice.
I can be happy that he is happy while I'm miserable.
I can take medication to make me numb and not care that my husband and Master dates and fucks other women.
I can smile and defend his choice to our daughter (teach her to be tolerant).
I can pretend that I don't care that he comes home smelling like some other woman.
I can get up each morning and get through my day (and it feels like sleepwalking).
But I'm dying inside.
A soul-crushing death.
But of course, the polys would say I'm not trying hard enough.
So I guess I'll try harder.
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